New Year’s Resolutions You Can Keep:
- I resolve to not run with scissors.
- I resolve to eat all the bacon on my plate.
- I resolve to stay under the covers on cold winter’s nights.
- I resolve to sweat in hot weather.
- I resolve to stick to my diet… unless the food looks really good, or is my favorite, or is something I can get this one time, or was made by someone whose feelings will be really, really hurt if I don’t eat a bite of what they made.