In honor of the first day of school, ten types of teachers I have known:
- The Mumbler: heaven help you if you have him or her for Trigonometry. Especially if Trig is first period.
- The General: We will take this hill of knowledge!
- The Intellectual: I should be writing a book, you know.
- Mrs. “They don’t pay enough for bus duty and to grade your homework: Here’s your test back from last year.”
- Mr. Monotone: So sleepy…
- The Stand-up: I wanted to be a standup comedian, see, but I’m not that funny, so I became a teacher so everyone would have to give me a courtesy laugh.
- Mrs. Powerpoint: I want you to see my brilliant slides, so not only will you have to see them in class, I will email them to you.
- Mrs. Sugar: “You are so adorable! We’re going to have so much fun today!”
- The Drill Sergeant: “You think this course is tough? Wait till you are in the real world solider! Now drop and give me 20.”
- The Hipster: I have an piercings, tattoos, and a ponytail. I really should be living in Brooklyn, but even it’s not cool enough. So I am here, blessing you with my coolness.
- Mr. “I should have retired five years ago.” I hate being here. I hate the administration. I hate this subject. I hate you. I hate your mother and father for having you. I hate everything.
And to all the teachers out there – I know none of you fit these stereotypes! Praying for you to have a great year! (and did you catch my mistake?)