Who Are You?
I’ve heard of a lot of discussion about the different personalities I’ve talked about the last two Sundays/Mondays. If you missed the messages, here is a brief recap of different kinds of people we meet in relationships:
Mr. Competitive: He always has to win. If he doesn’t, he withdraws, gets grumpy and silent. He never asks a question but instead defends his opinions – which he thinks are better than anyone else’s. It’s hard to be in a relationship with him because he has to always be on top.
Ms. Self-Righteous: She loves to look down at people. Cloaking her true thoughts in the guise of spiritual language and prayer requests, she truly believes she has a “special relationship” with God that you don’t have. It’s hard to be in a relationship with her because she looks down on you – and is secret hoping something bad will happen to you.
Mr. Duty: He relates not because he wants to, but because he has to. As a result, he is always on the verge of misery. When he enters the room and takes his seat, he does so with a sigh, because it is such a burden to relate to you and to the group. It’s hard to have a relationship with him because he is keeping score – if you cross him, he will remember it, and he will get even.
Ms. Nice: She is the outgoing one who welcomes everyone, organizes the group gatherings, and does her best to be kind to everyone. Whenever the discussion gets too heated, she will change the subject. It’s hard to have a relationship with her because she is never real – she will never let you know the real pain in her life. It’s hard to be close to plastic.
Ms. Needy: Her life is constant chaos; everything seems to happen to her. She always has a prayer request and her Facebook page is filled with one crisis after another. She doesn’t care if something is right or wrong, she will do it if it makes her life easier – like slap her kids if they misbehave in a store. It’s hard to have a relationship with her because the chaos forms a barrier between you and her.
Mr. Clueless: For starters, he is clueless about relationships. He thinks people like him when they really don’t. Every conversation, every story has to be about him. He thinks the rules apply to others, not him. He’s special and demands special treatment. It’s hard to have a relationship with him because his conceit crowds everyone else out.
Maybe you see yourself in one of these categories (unless you are Mr. Clueless). Maybe you see yourself in all of the categories, depending on what situation you are in. Let me tell you who you can be in relationships.
Jesus: The whole point of following Jesus is to be like him. Jesus was centered on His Father. He based his relationships not on what he wanted, but on what the Father wanted. Because he had that external reference point, he didn’t have to win; he didn’t engage in spiritual superiority games; he didn’t do things because he had to; he wasn’t fake; he wasn’t needy; and he was the most self-aware person who ever lived.
My challenge, and yours if you are a Jesus follower, is to be Jesus in every relationship. That means being centered on him, thinking about him, and learning from him.
Maybe the most important thing is not who you are in relationships, but who Jesus can make you to be.