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A mother takes time to cook home-made chocolate chip cookies.
A mother stays up till the teenager comes home – and doesn’t kill him when he’s past curfew.
A mother builds a fort for her son out of couch cushions and a playhouse out of cardboard boxes for her daughter.
A mother goes to Walmart at 10:30 at night because a child just remembered something they needed for a school project that is due tomorrow.
A mother holds her daughter close when the daughter tells her that her husband has left her.
A mother prays for her children.
A mother drives a child to dance, to tennis lessons, to gymnastics, and to cheerleading practice.
A mother is the parent all the athletes say “Hi!” to on television.
A mother rubs her daughter’s back.
A mother sacrifices so her son can go on a trip with the school.
A mother irons the clothes of her teenagers (who don’t care) so they will look nice.
A mother fusses she will not make another bed – until she can’t stand it anymore and makes them anyway.
A mother gets up in the middle of the night to check on her baby.
A mother feels guilt because she can’t work, keep house, be there for every child’s school assembly, and make home-made pies (like her mother did).
A mother’s heart still hurts twenty years after she buries a child.
A mother will spend hours baking a birthday cake that is disassembled and devoured in seconds.
A mother laughs under her breath at her children when they have their own children.
A mother has a backbone that stiffens when a child rebels.
A mother is wise enough to talk about feelings dad wouldn’t touch.
A mother insists that a baby have cute clothes. 
A mother has her faults, but her children don’t need to point them out.
A mother needs her feet rubbed all through pregnancy.
A mother offers praise when her one year old says “Dada,” even if it hurts a little.
A mother forgets the pain of labor when she holds her baby for the first time.
A mother is wise enough not to ask for too many details about college life.
A mother cries at her daughter’s wedding – and her son’s.
A mother will look under the bed to make sure there aren’t any monsters there.
A mother is a grace gift from God.
         
To all the mothers out there – and to mine, in a bed in Lemon Grove, Happy Mother’s Day.

It began as a suggestion from Eric, our Children’s Pastor.  When we talked about how to add value to the Family, Imperfect series and how offer people something who came to hear Michael Smalley, he suggested we give them something to help them as a family.  The thought hit me - I could jot down a few bullet points related to each message, we could compile them, and then we could offer them to people who come on October 7.  The pastors thought it was a good idea and I liked it too, so we committed to that.

As I prepared for each message, however, I was overwhelmed by the amount of material out there that could be of help to families.  There was no way I could preach it all without sermons running two or three hours.  I wasn’t sure I could get anyone to go along with that.  But, I thought, this wouldn’t be a problem - I would just expand my bullet points a little.

When I started dictating the first chapter, I wound up with 45 minutes of material.  Each chapter went longer and longer.  What started out to be a few pages of extra thoughts began something much more.

For the past two days I have been trying to finish the first draft.  To be honest, I was surprised that I had that much to say. I’m pretty excited about it because I think the material will benefit families.  I think couples will be helped and parents encouraged.  Of course I still have to edit what I’ve written - so I don’t yet really know how it will all look when it is put together.  To be honest, I think I will appreciate it as a handy review of things I need to remember as a husband and a father.

We’re going to print 600 of these and have available for anyone who wants one on Sunday.  I hope you will invite your friends to join us.  Michael Smalley promises to be great.  I believe God can use the truths we’ve shared not just to help families, but to change lives and open heaven for people who need to know Jesus.

I can’t wait for Sunday - I think God will do something great!

When I came to Sumter 13 years ago, my oldest two children were preschoolers and my youngest wasn’t even born yet.  I remember well meaning people telling me to enjoy them now because things would get more challenging in the days ahead.  I would smile and tell myself they were out of touch.  What could more challenging than getting up at night with ear infections, potty training, and endless Happy Meals from McDonalds. 
I found out having three was more challenging than two.  I found out trying to force a first grader to eat school lunches was a bad decision.  I found out the addictive power of television, video games, and Instant Messaging.  I found out the fear that hits a Dad’s heart when the first boyfriend shows up.  I found out how gut wrenching it is to see them drive away for the first time, having the freedom to go and do as they wished.
In no way has it been all bad.  I found the joy of exploring the world on school field trips.  I found playing Barbies can be fun (No comments please).  I found contentment when a trusting child leapt into my arms.  I found satisfaction in being a comforting shoulder on which to cry.
Parenthood isn’t easy.  In part, that is what the prophets in the Bible teach us, what we have been touching on during Family, Imperfect.  Even God struggles with His children.  If God struggles, why are we surprised that we struggle.
What I have learned through all this series is the goal is not build a perfect family.  The goal is to be more like our God – loving, forgiving, wise.  That’s the key to having a healthy family.
Michael Smalley, son of Gary Smalley, is coming October 7 to cap off the Family, Imperfect series.  He has titled his talk Wrestling with Gorillas.  It’s all about parenting.
No matter how old your children, you can benefit from his message.  You have friends who need to hear what he has to say.  Please invite them.  If we can’t train the Gorillas to be perfect, then we will need God’s help to know how to wrestle!

Family Imperfect has been a wierd series for me.  As I shared previously, I have sweated these sermons more than any in a long time. 

I have had a several people come up to me and really download big stuff going on in their lives and I know that God has used the messages.

Here’s why it is wierd.  A good rule of thumb in my world is “If you want to draw a crowd, preach on the family.”  It’s September and families are starting back to school so this seemed like a good time to preach this series.  That’s why we did the commercial.

Hasn’t really worked.  We have had better than average first time guests, but we aren’t blowing the doors off attendance wise

Why?  I’d really like your feedback - and yes I read all the comments, even if I don’t post them (topic for a later blog).  I’ve wondered if the sermons hit too close to home.  I’ve wondered if they really aren’t that good.  I’ve wondered if the good folks of ADBC haven’t quite stepped up to the plate and invited people.  I don’t know.  So any insight you could share, I’d appreciate.

My wife remarked to me last night that I had been more spun up about this series of messages than I had in a long time.  She’s right.

Here’s why:  Every year I serve God in vocational ministry I see families getting in worse and worse shape.  I see parents ruining the lives of their kids by being over involved or not involved at all.  I see marriages deginerating into empty shells and eventually implode. 

This article in the NY Times got my attention:  http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/20/us/20marriage.html?th&emc=th

It talks about less than 50% of couples will reach their 25th anniversary. 

There are all kinds of theories about why.  My observation is people expect more - and maybe have unrealistic expectations - and then bail when marriage doesn’t live up to their expectations.  They expect to have it all and then pay the price in depletion. 

I think people make their marriage their god and they worship their children. 

What I’ve been trying to say through family imperfect is no one and no family is perfect.  It’s only when we put God at the center of our lives that family rights itself and becomes what it is supposed to be in God’s design:  Not the answer to all our needs, but a journey we share with each other and with God.

SO - this week I’m talking about how to smooth out those family difficulties.  I hope to see you.