Is This Real?
I admit the dust up about Mother Teresa’s letters bothers me. In those letters she expresses not so much doubt, but a sense that God is absent from her. I’ve already blogged about this and but the issue has intersected with some of what I see and what I experience.
I have preached God’s word to the best of my ability at this church for thirteen and half years and for ten years before that. I have seen people make remarkable turns when Jesus impacts them. I have seen addictions beaten, marriages saved, miracles happen. I’ve seen spiritual growth in people that were previously thought be hard hearted and cold. God has done amazing things.
But I’ve seen people walk close with God and then turn in rebellion. I’ve seen people be utterly clueless about their sin. I’ve seen people willfully be blind to their own selfishness. I’ve seen people, when faced with a clear cut choice, choose the temptation. I have seen Christians refuse to transform their character, holding onto flaws of temper and greed, lust and pride, because they didn’t want to be vulnerable enough for God to change them. They don’t want to do the hard work of driving sin out and making a home for God
I’ve even seen people get so busy with church they lose their love for God. I’ve been susceptible to this myself. It’s easy to focus on a task and forget it is a calling. Like the church at Ephesus in Revelation 2:4, it has been easy to lose my first love for Christ and focus instead on being a good leader, instead of a good lover.
I’ve seen the wreckage that results. Crisis hits and people lean not on true faith, but on a hollow imitation. Families shatter against destructive choices. Faith burnout hits because somewhere God’s presence was not nurtured, cherished, prized.
I don’t know what happened in Mother Teresa. Was it burnout? Was it being strong willed, as one theologian suggests? Was it losing her faith but soldiering on anyway?
I do know discouragement, doubt, and faith struggles came to Elijah, to Job, to Jeremiah, and to Paul. I know it has happened to me. When those moments come, we naturally say, “Is this real? Is God really there?”
I think I know part of God’s answer. God is as real as our faith allows Him to be. Faith, Hebrews 11:1 says, is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do no see. But – and this is very important conjunction – we cannot think that our faith controls God. God gives us a sense of His absence, perhaps so we do not ever think our works or our faith control Him. That’s why prayer is conversation about a relationship, never a way to exert power over God.
Is the way of Christ real? Yes. Can God transform lives? Yes. Do we get to be in control? Not if we want God to change our lives. Will we feel God’s absence? Yes. Does that mean He has left us? Never. His promise is to never leave us or forsake us, no matter how we feel.
